Good-bye Love
by Starlight Rose
Summary: A seriously angsty fic about the consequences of Mamoru's break-up with Usagi.


Title: Good-bye Love  
Author: Starlight Rose  
Rated: PG-13  
Email: starlighto_rose@hotmail.com  
  
A.N. Hello there. Since I'm kinda stuck on Forgotten Love, I decided to write this short fic instead. Warning to all that read. This is very tragic, depressing, and sad. I'm best at writing depressing things. Oh yeah this takes place during the R season after the break-up if you can't tell, but I think it's rather obvious.  
  
Disclaimers: Usual disclaimers apply.  
  
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Usagi stood starring out at the serene lake. She stood before their bench. Tears streamed down her cheeks as Mamoru's words echoed in her head. "I don't love you anymore." he had told her. She begged him to tell her why but he refused to tell her anything. But she knew why he had broken up with her. She had seen it coming for a while. She knew that he was disappointed in her. She was nothing like her former self, Serenity. Kami...how she hated herself. She hated how clumsy she was, how stupid she was, and how childish she was. She had tried to change but nothing she did was right. Everything she did he criticized her for. Even Rei had recently let up on criticizing her, but he wouldn't. All he seemed to care for was Chibi-Usa. Usagi resented Chibi-Usa with all her might, but for some reason she couldn't hate the girl. She reminded her too much of herself.  
  
Suddenly a few drops of rain broke the serene surface of the lake. The few drops quickly turned into many. Normally Usagi would have been scared stiff as the thunder boomed and the lightning crackled in the sky. But today, she was beyond caring. She felt nothing but emptiness inside. A hollow emptiness. Her hand reached into her pocket and she removed her Star Locket. She opened it but no sound emitted from the golden piece of jewelry.  
  
Finally her legs refused to support her any longer. They buckled violently and she crumpled to the wet ground sobbing softly. She cried for the thousand years that she had loved him. She cried for all the pain she had gone through for him. She cried for the love that she had lost. Her eyes glazed over as she realized that the only way to end her suffering, to end her pain, was to end it all. She got up and with slow determined steps walked towards the edge of the lake. She whispered, "Good-bye love. I won't bother you anymore." With one step she walked off the edge of the lake and plunged into the black depths.  
  
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Mamoru woke up with a start. He could have sworn he had heard Usagi telling him good-bye. He shook his head to clear it. Surely it must have merely been a dream. Abruptly he felt a pain in his chest. It felt as if he was drowning. Realization hit him roughly; Usako was in danger. He quickly transformed and ran out of the house, letting his heart guide him. He ran and finally reached a bench, their bench. His eyes scanned the area restlessly looking for any sign of her. Seeing none he turned and was about to search elsewhere when a he saw streamers of gold shining from the lake's surface. Turning around he ran frantically to the lake praying to all the deities that were that it wasn't what he thought it was, but it was. He dove into the murky waters and pulled Usagi's limp body out. Leaning down he searched for a heartbeat but found none. He opened her mouth and started to breathe into it. He continued alternating between trying to get her heart to start beating, getting her to breathe, and forcing the water out of her lungs. It didn't work. He knew that it hadn't worked because she felt his soul die at the moment when her soul finally left her body. Tears fell heedlessly down his face to spatter upon her porcelain skin.   
  
Her hand relaxed and he glimpsed gold within the curled fingers. Prying the cold fingers open he revealed the Star Locket. He opened it, but no soothing music came out of the little trinket. Of course it wouldn't play. It was the symbol of their love, but their love was dead because she was dead. He hugged her lifeless body to him and let out a heartrending wail of agony and despair.  
  
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"Good-bye love." Mamoru whispered softly as he placed a blood-red rose upon her chest. She lay in the coffin looking as if she were merely sleeping. Looking like all that it would take to wake her up would he to yell at her, but he knew all to well that wasn't so as much as he wished it to be so. Mamoru resumed his seat and was oblivious to the rest of the service. He was lost within the confines of his guilt. He truly had only meant to protect her. But his need to protect her had killed her. He had killed her, not some Dark Moon droid, but he himself had killed. The knowledge tore at his heart and soul, or what was left of it. Pushing her away had hurt him as much as it had hurt her, but in the end she was peacefully resting and he was left to live his life without her. He cursed himself for listening to that voice and his dreams. He cursed himself for neglecting her when he was with her and Chibi-Usa. He cursed himself for never showing her that he loved her. He cursed himself for never telling her how much he loved her. Finally he cursed himself for pushing her away and killing her.   
  
The service ended and the coffin was laid into the ground. He looked up and saw her family huddled together crying for the bunny that they had just lost. He saw confusion in their face. They didn't understand why she would have done something like that. Her friends knew though. He could tell by the way that they glared reproachfully at him. They blamed him for her death. They had seen how she had cried whenever he had inadvertently said something hurtful to her. They had seen how heartbroken she was after he broke up with her.   
  
He wanted to join them as they huddled close to each other grieving for their best friend, their first friend. But he knew he had no right to do so. He had no right to seek comfort from anyone or anything. He stood alone like he had always been or at least until she had come into his life. He was alone again and the knowledge almost caused him to go insane. He lingered at her grave even after everyone had left. He hadn't shed a single tear throughout the entire time. He didn't want anyone to see how weak and hurt he was. After everyone left he kneeled next to the newly turned earth. Tear after tear fell from his eyes upon her grave as if he would water the tiny rose bush next to her grave with his salty tears.  
  
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Mamoru stood overlooking a cliff. It had been merely a week since he had found her dead body at in the lake. He couldn't stand the loneliness anymore. When she had died, he had also died. His soul was connected to hers and if she was no more then his soul was also dead. There was no point in trying to live without her. The cliff. It was the cliff that had changed his life so much as a child. It was this cliff that had taken his parent's life and his memory. It was fitting that this cliff would now also take his life. He refused to live any longer with a dead soul. He looked out over the edge and at the blue sky. He seemed to see her beckoning for him to join her. She looked like an angel in a flowing white dress and snow white wings. Smiling contentedly he stepped over the edge think, "You won't be alone anymore, Usako. I'm joining you now."  
  
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A.N. Well what do you think? I think I surpassed my usual self in regards to angst with this one. Well email me with C&C. Yes, I'll try to finish Forgotten Love, but I'm stuck on chapter ten and I don't like chapter nine too much right now either.   



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